Silence my dear companion

In the last months, I have experienced a silence, so beautiful, so incredible, any words that I used to try to conceptualized were only an intent to taint what needed not a drop of color.  It stood out above all in its vibrant simplicity, in it's incredible clarity, it needed nothing more.  For the most part, I sank into this state of being happily, and had urges of disappearing, melting into to this grand heavenly nothingness....there was nothing I'd ever wanted more.   My self, as a person, anything I could ever be, or do, was obscure in comparison.  I just wanted to sit in it, become it.  Here is where the 'dilema' arises.  This new found sense of being requires little to non activity, and what is recieved is more grandious than endless hours of working, desiring and wishing and aspiring had ever brought to me in the living world, making what was the life that had to go on, quite irrating and tedious.  Useless.  It was like knowing heaven and coming back to Earth.  I quickly learned this was beyond escpasim though.  I knew it before, tearing down the self, facing those inner demons is not at all a time for it, and as much as it seemed it now, this wasn't it either. 
When the universe comes to you, you can become so immersed in it, you readily want to dissolve into it, but the point is never to loose yourself.  Even in the heaven of nothingeverythingness the point is to face myself, staying a self as the universe penetrated my being.  Letting it sink into every pore.  It wants to be tangible.  The unexpressed seeks expression.  It is not that there are no words for it, it's that we haven't found them.  It seeks growth, through our surrender.  Allowing this is what brings divinity.  Magnificence wants to be part of everyday life.  Every moment.   Our war to merge ourselves with the universe's intent.  Be part of it.  Be aware of it.  Push it foward.  Sunrise is near.  New beginnings are calling from near ends.  Eternity wants to be understood by life in the third dimension.  So I laugh. and I let it be.